A Little Corner for SY

Ate a slice of cheese cake just now, just because I said I feel like I want to eat. Then you bought a ten ringgit cheese cake at the pasar malam.

Actually I never really liked cheese, not saying dislike, just neither like nor dislike. It is just a choice I can prefer to choose it or not to choose it. I started to like it after I knew you. I think that’s because you share your favourites with me, and I really feel the same as you feel.

Then I ate some yogurts, hoping that the lactobacillus bulgaricus will ferment the cheese into something with lower fat content. Ha ha….I was dreaming. It is still the fat I ate, and probably have become part of me. Perhaps I am just adding much more calories into my diet.

I know you hope that I can become slimmer…Yeah yeah…

Thanks for your cheese cake. Although it’s just a small slice, I still feel grateful to have you by my side……

Lost control……失控。

老毛病又犯了。自尊心太强，一时放不下身份，我露出了愤怒的表情。

这就是我。我不太擅长隐瞒情绪，很多时候情绪都写在了脸上。原以为自己已经做好了准备，必须学会卑微，但在压力之下，对于自己觉得过分的事，都无法一骨碌地把怒气吞下。不像涉世多年的人们，多愤怒都能把一切藏在异常亲切的笑脸之下，随手轻捅一刀让对方死得不明不白。幸运的是我还没有遇上这样的人，又或者遇上了，他/她没把我放在眼里，所以幸运地逃过了一劫。

呵…不知自己能在这弱肉强食的世界生存多久？我知道自己必须学会适时放下身份，放下自尊，但情绪来的时候，即使强忍他人也能感觉到，蛮失败的……

打造的面具带久了，我很快就感到窒息了。强烈的自尊心也是我放不下的牵绊。唉，人生的必修科，我真的还要多多学习啊……